“My Relationship with Food is F*@+ed up.”

During my childhood my Dad would regularly ask the question, Who are you? The answer was easy, as I felt so identified with the body and mind. The conversation developed and he suggested that I take a look at one of my hands. I was adamant that this hand was part of who I am. He then asked the question, ‘If something is aware of the hand, which it is, as you can see it, you have to be the observer and not the seen.’ This was then taken a step further and he made me aware that there was also a witness of the thoughts running through mind at warp speed. He was illustrating that I was the witness and this was completely lost on me.


I was re-acquainted this week with The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and the first agreement really struck a chord. Be impeccable with your word is this first agreement and this has really sharpened my awareness of language.


The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think and thereby create the events in your life.


This is a very powerful statement. The events in our lives are created by our words. The words arising on this page are creating my reality. When my client chose the words during our session this week that ‘his relationship with food is f*@+ed up’ it felt fixed. It felt like this relationship is immoveable and set in stone. Through deeper exploration, it became clear that he was bringing his past relationship with food into the present through word. He was re-creating this relationship again and again through his word. Bringing death into life.


In a flash he was able to see that we have the space to create our relationship with food in every moment. There is a fluidity and aliveness in every moment. There is no fixed relationship in life to anything, unless we choose to make it so. Awareness is the master key to life itself. Pay attention to the words that you choose. They show the deeper patterns you are choosing to reproduce. This is a movement away from life.


We then opened the door to how he chooses to create his relationship to food right now. And beyond this to letting go of all ‘creating’ to see what the natural relationship is for him to food in that moment. This space was a breakthrough. Space is the creation of awareness and allows the pulsation of life to arise. He could see food as nourishment and felt this deeply in his being.


I was reminded recently of my childhood interrogation when a friend asked, ‘So Daniel, Who are you?’ I was stumped. How to answer a question when I have no fixed abode. I know with some assurance that I am not this body that is dying in every moment. I also know that I am not the trail of thoughts picked up from the collective. Letting go of the past, allow some space and ask yourself the question ‘who am I’ now. Close your eyes and see what arises in the space in this very moment. There is a very definite experience that arises for me and this is alive with fluidity free from the muddy past.


I will leave you with the full first agreement and thank my friend for asking the question and for inviting the awareness of word more acutely into this life.


Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Who are you? Who are you? Go within and find the answer. If you would like to explore your own choice of words, email me at:


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With love,




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