I have noticed a yearning in me for deep connection with others. This seems to be a ubiquitous human desire and at the same time is less eminent in this digital age. How can we deepen this connection with others? How can I deepen this connection with you, the reader, now? My experiments suggest that intention is the key.
My intention as a writer now is to connect deeply with you. This brings into my body a deep sense of yearning in my heart. I almost feel a sense of a pull towards you from deep in my heart. All of this rich sensation comes solely from an intention to connect with you. What happens for you as the reader if you do the same with me? Notice the sensations that arise.
I was relating to another coach this week and noticed that the connection didn’t feel particularly strong. I spoke this into the relationship and they told me connection is an issue for them. They didn’t know how to connect deeply. We experimented with this and simply by dropping the effort to connect the feeling shifted. The connection seems to happen by itself, if given the guiding hand of intention.
Integrity is another fundamental quality needed for deep connection. As I relate to you, can I stay closely with my embodied sensations as they arise and speak this to you openly?
This is a real challenge. What exactly do I mean by this? I can remember a meeting with a colleague within a former organization. In my very first meeting with him, I felt unsafe and wobbly. I sensed a lack of integrity in him. Did I bring these feelings into the meeting with integrity in that moment? No. I lacked integrity myself and wore a mask. It is when I am without masks that I feel alive.
Alan Watts beautifully expresses the effect of letting go of the masks:
Any time you voluntarily let up control, cease to cling to yourself, you have an access of power.
This power he speaks of is readily available without the masks. The most impactful leaders on the planet know this and it can be learnt.
My challenge to you is the same challenge I set myself. I want to feel fully alive. My intent is to watch closely my embodied responses in relation. I will speak the responses in the moment and keep ownership. I will not blame another for the feelings that arise in this body. I will notice the impact this has on my relationships and life. I want to hear about your embodied experience in relation. Do you feel a deep longing to be connected and what happens when this is your intention?